Reddit: Writing Prompt: "Blessing the Devil" by u/blackparody

Writing Prompt by u/HakaBb:

You have the power to literally bless people when they sneeze but you don't know it. Here comes Satan with a proper hay fever and you are just being polite, as always.

Three months back

"Bless you!" I said reflexively, as the diminutive bald man sneezed into his elbow.

Immediately the man stood up, a look of surprise on his face, as though no one had ever reacted this positively to him sneezing. Now I was the one feeling awkward. Most people just looked at him in disgust - moving away from him.

"Don't mind them," I continued, "They are just worried, what with the times being what they are."

"I never do," he replied, smiling weakly and settling back into the metro seat next to mine, even as other people distanced themselves. "You'd think I was here spreading the plague."

"I mean, there are always diseases, what have you -"

*Achoo*

"- Bless you, my man. And it's not like you alone could make this year any worse for Earth."

The man grinned like he found what I said to be very funny. "No, but you know what they say about the end of the world. The plague, famine - *Acchoooo*"

"Bless you again, my friend," I said, worried slightly for my new friend now. "Are you alright? It almost seems like you've got hay fever!"

"Are you a doctor? No? Well, yes, you've got quite a good eye for this. But, you know, at least it's not Corona."

"What, that disease in China? Doubt that's a plague." I scoffed. The man just smiled, weakly. The metro slowed to a stop, and more people got in, filling in the space that had been manufactured by our fellow riders. The change in space almost relaxed us, bringing in a much-needed sense of normalcy. There was a strength to the man's eyes that belied his weak frame, even hacking about with hay fever. He seemed to be really interested in what I had to say, something not many others had expressed. I felt drawn to talk to him, for some reason, even though I had felt extremely awkward only a few moments back.

"So, you were saying... Plagues and famines?" I tried initiating a conversation for once.

"Ah yes, famine. You've heard the stories right - there are locusts that eat crops and cause famines. And then there are the wars that cause death." he said conspiratorially, leaning in as if it was a secret.

I shrugged, this was all common knowledge - Sunday school bible stuff to scare children into eating their greens. "Somehow I don't think uncontrollable locust attacks are -"

*Achoo*

"- Bless you. Where was I, yes, I don't think that famine through locusts is realistic with the advancements in science. But yes, with the morons in power across the globe, war is definitely -"

*Achoo*

"- possible. Bless you, man. Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" I asked, putting my arm around the weak man.

He sat upright, grinning from ear to ear, as though he was the happiest person for all the trouble hayfever seemed to be giving him. "Never better man. Trust me, you've made my day! I'll tell you what - I am so grateful for this scintillating conversation you have given me - whenever you really need me, just think of me, and I will be here for you!"

And with that, the strange little man jumped up, did a little hop, and walked to the metro doors, just as the coach came to a stop at the next station.

Today

I walked back to the kitchen, after collecting the milk and staples for the day from the front door. Two months of sitting at home does a lot to a person's confidence - namely, it crushes one down to their loneliness. No excuses left, I sighed as I put all the stuff in the fridge. Time to go and switch on the telly - more depressing news. I had not expected the Coronavirus - Covid19 now, because we as a race are that brilliant at naming things - to become the monster it had. The death toll seemed to keep rising every day, tanking the global markets, as though there was an unseen target number of deaths it was aiming to reach by the end of the quarter. Today's latest news - locust swarms had gone all the way from Iran to across the middle east and to south Asia - ravaging crops everywhere. Experts were already predicting famines across half the world for the coming year. I switched off the telly in frustration.

But bad news comes in groups, and today was to be no exception. My phone beeped. The US president had just tweeted a war threat at China. Great, now we would have two of the greatest economic and military powers in the world fighting a war. Exactly what the world needed at this moment. I could almost swear this was the Devil's doing if only I believed in God or any of that crap. Fuck. Maybe I could just lie down and sleep, and wake up once this nightmare was over. Hibernation style

The doorbell rang just then, and I sighed. Not even sleep was on my cards, clearly. Cursing all imaginary divinity, I walked back to the front door, glad that I would be seeing another human face for once. Never did I think I would be grateful for the chance to see random people for no reason but to quench my loneliness. I opened the door to the small frame of this bald bespectacled man.

He smiled at me. I frowned, he seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place him. "Hi, who are you looking for?"

"You of course. I told you I would be here when you needed me."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I called for any -"

*Achoo*

My eyes widened. Fuck.